Is being compelled to write about yourself narcissistic?
I am sure it is.
And therapeutic. And risky. It is the internet after all. But I love the ability to type rather than write long hand. And let me tell you how much I LOVE the title of this thing. After my Mom died two, no THREE? years ago, I started journaling every morning over coffee when I got to work. When I filled a complete notebook...it seemed to represent my life in a Nutshell, so I entertained myself by flipping it over and writing "the Nutshell" on the front seeing as how it was a tool for sanity during my grief and anger and how in one little notebook you could open it up and read all about my life in a nutshell. I found it so clever I named the second notebook I filled "The Nutshell 2". So I find writing very theraputic and when it's all said and done it is kind of an armor against what is bothering you, a "shell" of sorts. All bloggers use these things to get things off their chest - that protects your sanity, no doubt.
And as in all past journals, I always use them as "to-do' lists as well.
So my FITNESS...always at the top of my mind. Today is an hour of slow steady state cardio and eating only BFL authorized foods until Saturday night. I have 20 pounds to lose and BY GOD I am going to do it. Big huge Nigerian trainer walked up to me as I was hunched over huffing and puffing after my circuit and bumped fists with me two days ago and said (although we've never spoken) "you are putting forth a big effort, I see you working hard...you are all heart" I just said "thanks" between huge breaths but it has stuck with me. Felt SO GOOD for someone to notice. Especially since I put my ipod on and just GO at the gym. Can't let the gym scene deter you so I focus on my workout to the exclusion of everything else, including the fact that I am *sure* my arse is giggling during those walking lunges and my shirt has come up during crunches to show a not so flat tummy, etc. Food is my problem. If I get it under control, I will have th body I have always DESERVED. I have committed to only BFL foods, NO milk, no artificial sweeteners (breastfeeding) and daily workouts through this Saturday. Then I reassess, and make another VERY SHORT TERM goal. This is my new trick. Making them so short keeps me involved and there is no losing sight and getting bored. Last one was a week long and I started faltering and had milk in my coffee and a sugarfree choc ice cream pop after 3 days. So I am DETERMINED to achieve this goal and I am tightening up until it happens. It teaches you how much you actually veer from what you promised yourself. Just go two days totally on program, and you'll find it is harder than you thought.
Better get going. Need to figure out if I can pump during this nap, get people food ready for when she wakes up hungry (trying to get her weaned off me and get her to take a bottle or cup or ANYTHING so I can leave her for more than 3 hours) and get myself ready for the gym and pick up the house. Oooo, and there was a hunger pain-need to eat as well.
EXHALE. My first post. Wasn't so bad....
And therapeutic. And risky. It is the internet after all. But I love the ability to type rather than write long hand. And let me tell you how much I LOVE the title of this thing. After my Mom died two, no THREE? years ago, I started journaling every morning over coffee when I got to work. When I filled a complete notebook...it seemed to represent my life in a Nutshell, so I entertained myself by flipping it over and writing "the Nutshell" on the front seeing as how it was a tool for sanity during my grief and anger and how in one little notebook you could open it up and read all about my life in a nutshell. I found it so clever I named the second notebook I filled "The Nutshell 2". So I find writing very theraputic and when it's all said and done it is kind of an armor against what is bothering you, a "shell" of sorts. All bloggers use these things to get things off their chest - that protects your sanity, no doubt.
And as in all past journals, I always use them as "to-do' lists as well.
So my FITNESS...always at the top of my mind. Today is an hour of slow steady state cardio and eating only BFL authorized foods until Saturday night. I have 20 pounds to lose and BY GOD I am going to do it. Big huge Nigerian trainer walked up to me as I was hunched over huffing and puffing after my circuit and bumped fists with me two days ago and said (although we've never spoken) "you are putting forth a big effort, I see you working hard...you are all heart" I just said "thanks" between huge breaths but it has stuck with me. Felt SO GOOD for someone to notice. Especially since I put my ipod on and just GO at the gym. Can't let the gym scene deter you so I focus on my workout to the exclusion of everything else, including the fact that I am *sure* my arse is giggling during those walking lunges and my shirt has come up during crunches to show a not so flat tummy, etc. Food is my problem. If I get it under control, I will have th body I have always DESERVED. I have committed to only BFL foods, NO milk, no artificial sweeteners (breastfeeding) and daily workouts through this Saturday. Then I reassess, and make another VERY SHORT TERM goal. This is my new trick. Making them so short keeps me involved and there is no losing sight and getting bored. Last one was a week long and I started faltering and had milk in my coffee and a sugarfree choc ice cream pop after 3 days. So I am DETERMINED to achieve this goal and I am tightening up until it happens. It teaches you how much you actually veer from what you promised yourself. Just go two days totally on program, and you'll find it is harder than you thought.
Better get going. Need to figure out if I can pump during this nap, get people food ready for when she wakes up hungry (trying to get her weaned off me and get her to take a bottle or cup or ANYTHING so I can leave her for more than 3 hours) and get myself ready for the gym and pick up the house. Oooo, and there was a hunger pain-need to eat as well.
EXHALE. My first post. Wasn't so bad....
posted by Anna @ 7:56 AM
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